5 Things I’ve Learned In Mentoring
For more than ten years, I had the privilege of leading the Worldwide Mentoring Program for KSBJ in Houston. During that time, I mentored Christian radio stations on six of the world’s seven continents. (I’m thankful I was never invited to Antarctica.)
Those experiences helped me learn principles I’d like to pass along to you. My hope is that they will help you if you choose to give or receive the benefit that comes from capable mentoring. Here are five that stand out to me.
- Approach mentoring with humility and gratitude
This relationship benefits greatly from humble hearts. When the person doing the mentoring believes they’ve got all the answers and that the person being mentored just needs to listen and learn, you’re off to a bad start. People pay attention to people who pay attention to them. When the sharing of ideas begins with my understanding of what’s important to you and why it carries the weight it does, it has a greater chance of yielding healthy fruit. I try to approach the process from the viewpoint, “Here’s something I’ve learned in this area. I’d like to see if it sparks a fresh idea for you.” That way, I’m coming alongside my mentee to guide rather than making pronouncements. But humility and gratitude must cut both ways. When the person receiving the mentoring has an open and humble heart (rather than thinking there’s nothing new he/she needs to learn), true growth can take place.
- Set goals that are both short-term and realistic
Any mentoring relationship must have a clear destination. It’s best for both the mentor and the mentee to define what success in this relationship looks like to them. This will help them come together on goals they can both support. I’ve seen (and been part of) too many projects that never clearly understood where the finish line was. Because of that, success was compromised by the simple fact that no one clearly understood where they were going or how they would get there. The clearer and more attainable the goals are, the easier it will be to gauge where you are on our journey toward meeting them.
- Mentoring should be symbiotic
Remember the words “symbiotic relationship” from high school biology? They describe a bond between two different organisms that produces a mutually beneficial relationship. Symbiosis also applies to mentoring. The mentee benefits from the wisdom being shared by someone who in many cases has been exactly where the mentee is now. But this isn’t a one-way street. The mentor also benefits. He or she is following the biblical example of taking those hard-fought lessons God has taught them and helping others see or do things differently. Sometimes the greatest impact you can have on a mentee is to say, “Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”
- Mentoring IS a relationship
It’s too easy to forget that mentoring must be more than a way to learn. Mentoring builds a deeper bond between those who are involved in it. God has designed relationships between two people (or two radio stations) to do more than meets the eye. In my years as a mentor, I’ve gained much from relationships that, on the surface, appeared more one-sided than they actually were. I learned about the individual people I was serving and listened to where they were in their journey with Christ. This not only made our relationship sweeter, I developed a better understanding of why they were who they were and how their role was important to fulfilling God’s call on their lives. As is often the case in God’s economy, what appeared from the outside to be my contribution to them turned out to be a gift to my own heart – and theirs too, I hope.
- Mentoring takes time
Like many things in life, mentoring takes time. While it can produce results (seemingly) overnight, most of what grows from mentoring takes time. The ability and commitment from both parties to embrace the power of allocating time is key. Whether you’re considering becoming a mentor or a mentee, the discipline of slowing down and not feeling like you have to have an immediate answer will serve you well.
Mentoring is bulti-faceted and almost always includes elements of listening, asking questions, encouraging, and teaching. Each of those things, done correctly, takes time. Whether you’re a mentor or a mentee, you will hear things that will take time for you to process. To do that well, you may need to ask clarifying questions to better understand your path forward. Once that pathway is clear, the mentor and mentee can both begin walking toward the same destination.
CMB Leadership Mentoring is launching soon. If you’re interested in being a part of this, please reach out to info@cmbonline.org to get started. If you’re passionate about helping to build (or being) a highly skilled leader for the future of our format, CMB Leadership Mentoring is for you.
With more than five decades of experience in Christian radio, Jon Hull is an Audience Growth Consultant for Finney Media. He can be reached at jon@finneymedia.com
