Finding Peace in the Chaos: 5 Ways to Navigate the Christmas Season

We spend weeks talking about peace, joy, and hope. We sing about them, we encourage others to experience them, and then we go home exhausted, stressed about family gatherings, and wondering how we’re going to get everything done.

If you work in Christian radio, you know this tension especially well. You’re helping create a meaningful Christmas experience for thousands of listeners, but that doesn’t mean your own Christmas is free from anxiety, difficult relationships, or grief.

My wife Lisa and I have spent a lot of time thinking about the emotional load we carry during the holidays. And one thing we’ve learned is that we often take responsibility for things God never asked us to carry.

So as Christmas approaches, here are five things worth keeping in mind:

1. Just Because Someone Is Spreading It Doesn’t Mean You Have to Catch It

Anxiety and reactivity are contagious. You know this if you’ve ever walked into a perfectly pleasant family gathering only to have one person bring up politics, an old disagreement, or something that immediately changes the temperature of the room.

We all have our version of Cousin Greg.

The good news is that you probably already know what might set you off. You know the conversations that tend to get uncomfortable and the people who know exactly which buttons to push.

That awareness gives you an opportunity to prepare.

Instead of being surprised when someone says something frustrating, notice what’s happening inside you. Are you getting defensive? Do you feel the need to correct them? Are you already planning your response?

You don’t have to react just because someone else does. You can pause, pray, and decide how you want to respond.

And sometimes the best response is no response at all.

Not whether everyone agreed with me or whether I won an argument. But whether I showed up as the person I wanted to be.

2. Prepare Yourself, Not Just Everything Around You

Think about how much time we spend preparing for Christmas. Shopping, decorating, cooking, planning, cleaning, and making sure everything is just right.

Now think about how much time we spend preparing ourselves emotionally.

Lisa has worked hard on this over the years. She used to put tremendous pressure on herself to make everything perfect when we hosted people. The food needed to be right, the house needed to be ready, and everyone needed to have a wonderful time.

But she began paying attention to the emotional atmosphere she was creating before anyone even arrived.

One Christmas, our kids actually noticed the difference. They told her she was more fun to be around.

I love that story because the meal didn’t become less important. Our guests weren’t any less cared for. But Lisa was able to be present rather than exhausted by the time everyone arrived.

For those working in Christian radio, this is worth remembering. You may spend weeks preparing Christmas programming, events, promotions, and special moments for your listeners.

But what about preparing yourself for the people who need you when the workday is over?

Sometimes that preparation is as simple as taking a few minutes on the drive home to notice what you’re carrying, talk to God, and release some of the pressure.

3. You Are Not Responsible for Everyone’s Christmas

This one is hard for people who care deeply about others.

We want everyone to be happy. We want family gatherings to go well. We want to give the perfect gift, say the right thing, and make sure nobody feels disappointed.

And if you’re wired to serve people, that pressure can become enormous.

Lisa and I talk about five false needs that tend to drive us: control, perfection, having the answer, always being there for others, and approval.

I don’t know which one gets you, but I suspect at least one sounds familiar.

Here’s something we’ve learned: We get reactive when we’re carrying more than God has asked us to carry.

You can prepare a wonderful meal, but you can’t control whether everyone enjoys it. You can love your family, but you can’t make everyone get along. You can encourage someone who’s struggling, but you can’t fix everything they’re going through.

That doesn’t mean you stop caring.

It means you begin asking a different question: What’s mine to carry? What’s theirs? And what’s God’s?

You might be surprised how much lighter Christmas feels when you stop trying to carry all three.

4. Not Everyone Is Having a Merry Christmas

This may be the most important reminder of all.

Christmas has a way of turning up the volume on whatever we’re feeling. Joy feels bigger. But so does loneliness. So does disappointment. And especially grief.

I’ve spent years in ministry, and one of the things I’ve noticed is how uncomfortable we can become with sadness.

We want to cheer people up. We want to remind them of God’s goodness. We want to help them move past whatever they’re feeling.

But sometimes people don’t need us to make them feel better. They just need us to be willing to sit with them in what they’re experiencing.

At our church, we used to hold a grief service between Thanksgiving and Christmas because we knew how difficult those weeks could be for people who had experienced loss. It wasn’t designed to be cheerful. It was a place where people could grieve honestly.

Think about that as you serve your listeners this Christmas.

Behind every radio is someone with a story you don’t know. Someone may be celebrating a new baby or a long-awaited answer to prayer. Someone else may be facing their first Christmas without a spouse, parent, or child.

And the people working alongside you have stories, too.

You don’t always need the right words. Sometimes asking someone to share a memory of the person they’re missing is more meaningful than trying to cheer them up.

There’s room for joy and sadness at Christmas. We don’t have to pretend otherwise.

5. God Is Already There

Here’s the final thing Lisa and I want people to remember.

God is already in the room.

Before you arrive at the family gathering, He’s there. Before you walk into a difficult conversation, He’s there. Before you start another long day at the station, He’s there.

You don’t have to bring God into a situation as though He wasn’t already present.

And that includes the difficult people.

Lisa sometimes reminds me that even the person who’s driving me crazy is made in God’s image. All of God’s image, not just the percentage I happen to appreciate at that moment.

That reminder has helped me treat people with dignity, even when they’re frustrating me.

It also reminds me that I’m not responsible for managing every outcome. God is already at work, and He’s carrying things I was never meant to carry.

A Different Kind of Christmas Preparation

As you head into the Christmas season, I hope you’ll give as much attention to your emotional well-being as you do to everything on your calendar.

Pay attention to what makes you reactive. Prepare your heart before you prepare another event. Let go of the need to make everything perfect. Make room for people who are hurting.

And remember that God is already there.

If you work in Christian radio, you’re going to spend a lot of time helping other people celebrate Christmas this year.

My hope is that you won’t be so busy helping everyone else experience the peace of Christ that you miss it yourself.

Adapted from Steve and Lisa Cuss’s conversation, “Finding Peace in the Chaos: Five Emotional Well-Being Tips for Christmas Sanity,” on the Being Human podcast, a production of Christianity Today. For more resources, visit capablelife.com/christmas.